Lady Lance-In-Slot
Portrayed by: TBA
First Appearance: "Glock in the Rock"
Last Appearance: "The Lake Bitch"

Lady Lance-In-Slot is a main character in the Pimpmaster Arturius series. She is a professional stripper and dancer at the Club Round Table in Cameltoe.

Kayson Davis paid Lady Lance-In-Slot for a "private dance" for his brother Arty Davis. She took Arty to a private room, but was unable to perform her "dance" for him because he was too focused on job hunting. She gives up on trying to seduce him, and instead settles in to listen to Arty vent about his problems. Lady Lance-In-Slot suggests that Arty find the Glock in the Rock and become her new pimp, leaving Arty with a slip of paper describing the rock. However, when Kayson finds Arty in the private room an hour and hour after the Club closed, he claims Lady Lance-In-Slot left in a huff a long time ago, looking pissed.[1]

Lady Lance-In-Slot later appears in the forest where a crowd has gathered around the Glock in the Rock. She jumps in front of Arty to protect him from Sheriff James Fisher when he crashes the gathering[2]. Lady Lance-In-Slot survives the gunshot, on account of being a cyborg, and instead shoots off the Sheriff's balls as revenge for Lady Bortha, a friend of hers whom he had abused.[3]

After Arty laid claim to the Glock in the Rock, Lady Lance-In-Slot becomes his ho and one of his top advisors. At times she agrees with his other advisor, Murray, such as when she reassures him that it is okay to pimp her out, and at other times she disagrees with Murray, as to how Arty should treat and handle his romantic interest Jenna Weir.[4]

According to the cyborg, Lady Lance-In-Slot had become sick with cancer at the tender age of four, and spread rapidly throughout her body. The doctors claimed that the only way to save her life, was to turn her into a cyborg. However the procedure was too expensive, so Lady Lance-In-Slot's parents abandoned her. She was taken in by the Lake Bitch, who paid for her treatment, and made four year old Lady Lance-In-Slot pay her back by ho-ing out.[5]

Lady Lance-In-Slot convinces the Lake Bitch that Arty was a worthy Pimpmaster, allowing him to buy a Excalibur series. 447 Caliburn Xtra Automatic laser assault rifle.[6]

Lady Lance-In-Slot encourages Arty to reach out to his new-found son, Martin, and promotes a healthy relationship with his romantic interest, Jenna. When Murray tries to convince Arty to slap Jenna in retaliation for dumping his supply of Meralin, Lady Lance-In-Slot tells him not to. She takes Jenna away after Arty slaps her so hard that she passes out.[7]

Bibliography
1. Rose, Persephone. Pimpmaster Arturius and the Glock in the Rock. Narrated by Persephone Rose, audiobook, Postal Roach Audio, 09-01-17. Timestamp, 5:50-10:20. Audible.com, https://www.audible.com/pd/Pimpmaster-Arturius-and-the-Glock-in-the-Rock-Audiobook/.
2. Rose, Persephone. Pimpmaster Arturius and the Glock in the Rock. Narrated by Persephone Rose, audiobook, Postal Roach Audio, 09-01-17. Timestamp, 15:00-19:00. Audible.com, https://www.audible.com/pd/Pimpmaster-Arturius-and-the-Glock-in-the-Rock-Audiobook/.
3. Rose, Persephone. Pimpmaster Arturius and the Quest for a Main Ho. Narrated by Persephone Rose, audiobook, Postal Roach Audio, 09-15-17. Timestamp, 2:05-3:30, 0:15-2:05. Audible.com, https://www.audible.com/pd/Pimpmaster-Arturius-and-the-Quest-for-a-Main-Ho-Audiobook/.
4. Rose, Persephone. Pimpmaster Arturius and the Quest for a Main Ho. Narrated by Persephone Rose, audiobook, Postal Roach Audio, 09-15-17. Timestamp, 3:30-6:46. Audible.com, https://www.audible.com/pd/Pimpmaster-Arturius-and-the-Quest-for-a-Main-Ho-Audiobook/.
5. Rose, Persephone. Pimpmaster Arturius and the Quest for a Main Ho. Narrated by Persephone Rose, audiobook, Postal Roach Audio, 09-15-17. Timestamp, 6:46-9:09. Audible.com, https://www.audible.com/pd/Pimpmaster-Arturius-and-the-Quest-for-a-Main-Ho-Audiobook/.
6. Rose, Persephone. Pimpmaster Arturius and the Lake Bitch. Narrated by Persephone Rose, audiobook, Postal Roach Audio, 09-26-17. Timestamp, 6:22-9:05. Audible.com, https://www.audible.com/pd/Pimpmaster-Arturius-and-the-Lake-Bitch-Audiobook/.
7. Rose, Persephone. Pimpmaster Arturius and the Lake Bitch. Narrated by Persephone Rose, audiobook, Postal Roach Audio, 09-26-17. Timestamp, 12:06-12:43, 15:30-17:12. Audible.com, https://www.audible.com/pd/Pimpmaster-Arturius-and-the-Lake-Bitch-Audiobook/.
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